Setting Limits and Sticking to Them
About Kim DeMarchi
Kim DeMarchi, M.Ed., Certified Parent Educator, Certified Family Coach, and Speaker was born and raised on the West Coast of the United States, lives in the United Kingdom with her husband, has 21 year old boy/girl twins in their fourth year at university and has 13 and 14 year old bonus children, and has been an educator for more than three decades. She began her career as an elementary school teacher for 12 years, then worked as an elementary school administrator for 6 years, and then decided to dedicate herself to teaching parenting classes and being a family coach exclusively.
Kim is trained and certified through a program called Positive Discipline by Jane Nelsen, as well by the International Network for Children and Families, in a program called Redirecting Children‘s Behavior. She also has taken trainings in the areas of Youth Mental Health First Aid, Adult Mental Health First Aid, ACES (Adverse Childhood Experiences), ASIST (Applied Suicide Intervention Skills Training), Trauma Informed Care, Smart Voices/Smart Choices: Parents Talking with Kids about Mental Wellness and Substance Use, and
Making the Connection: Stress, Teen Brains & Building Resilience. Kim has been active in supporting the parenting community by providing workshops, classes, coaching families and writing articles for newspapers.
Kim has been a regular guest on television shows doing parenting segments. Kim also reaches thousands internationally through her close to one hundred 30 minute parenting podcasts. Kim teaches and shares her passion for raising cooperative, respectful, resilient and responsible children, around the world travelling to Singapore nine times in addition to three trips to Kuala Lumpur as well as a further three trips to Bangkok to do the same. Kim’s goal for you is to help reduce conflict, foster mutual respect, and create deeper communication and connections with your loved ones.
What is Positive Discipline?
Positive Discipline is a program designed to teach young people to become responsible, respectful and resourceful members of their communities. Based on the best selling Positive Discipline books by Dr. Jane Nelsen, it teaches important social and life skills in a manner that is deeply respectful and encouraging for both children and adults (including parents, teachers, childcare providers, youth workers, and others).
Recent research tells us that children are “hardwired” from birth to connect with others, and those children who feel a sense of connection to their community, family, and school are less likely to misbehave. To be successful, contributing members of their community, children must learn necessary social and life skills. Positive Discipline is based on the understanding that discipline must be taught and that discipline teaches.
FIVE CRITERIA FOR EFFECTIVE DISCIPLINE
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Helps children feel a sense of connection. (Belonging and significance)
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Is mutually respectful and encouraging. (Kind and firm at the same time.)
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Is effective long-term. (Considers what the child is thinking, feeling, learning, and deciding about himself and his world – and what to do in the future to survive or to thrive.)
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Teaches important social and life skills. (Respect, concern for others, problem solving, and cooperation as well as the skills to contribute to the home, school or larger community.)
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Invites children to discover how capable they are. (Encourages the constructive use of personal power and autonomy.)
The Positive Discipline Parenting and Classroom Management models are aimed at developing mutually respectful relationships. Positive Discipline teaches adults to employ kindness and firmness at the same time, and is neither punitive nor permissive. The tools and concepts of Positive Discipline include:
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Mutual respect. Adults model firmness by respecting themselves and the needs of the situation and kindness by respecting the needs of the child.
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Identifying the belief behind the behaviour. Effective discipline recognizes the reasons kids do what they do and works to change those beliefs rather than merely attempting to change behaviour.
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Effective communication and problem-solving skills.
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Discipline that teaches (and is neither permissive nor punitive).
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Focusing on solutions instead of punishment.
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Encouragement (instead of praise). Encouragement notices effort and improvement, not just success, and builds long-term self-esteem and empowerment.